Dear Dr. Psychie,

I work with another person on my team, we are responsible for gathering and putting together a proposal. I feel like I am doing most of the work. I feel anxious in confronting my partner. How can I get him to share the workload?

- Powerless in Wisconsin

Dear Powerless,

This happens more often than you think. The first issue you face is defining the total roles, responsibilities and tasks to complete the proposal. The second issue is for you to gain the power and confidence to talk with your partner in sharing the workload.

Without defining tasks, you probably feel overwhelmed with your workload and uncomfortable in confronting your partner to take more responsibility.

If tasks aren't defined, it makes it difficult for you to talk with your partner about each of your responsibilities. First define all of the tasks. Next, prioritize the tasks and develop deadlines.

When you have concrete tasks to assign, you are in a powerful position when talking with your partner because you have limited his responses. His response is limited to simply choose what he want to do.

In a way, you are forcing him to take responsibility. This is very empowering for you and for your partner. It fast-forwards you from confrontation directly to decision making.

1. Recognize what you can and can't do
2. Identify factors that give you an advantage
3. Be open to creating alternatives

Download and complete this exercise to assess your power.

Dear Dr. Psychie,

I work really hard at my sales job. I am diligent and always follow through. I close more deals than anyone in the office, yet only make a fraction of what the other sales people make. What am I doing wrong?

- Suffering in Sioux Falls, ID

Dear Suffering,

It sounds like you are very good at negotiating and closing - great start.   So why don't you make what other salespeople make?   I think the question I would ask is, 'what are your expectations?   Do your expectations match your results?  

The Expectancy Theory basically states - people who have low expectations - get exactly what they expect, and people with higher expectations get what they want also.   Be aware of what your goals are.   If you set your expectation higher for each deal, chances are, you will meet your expectations - and, make more money.

1. Ask yourself what you expect and want
2. Ask the other person what they expect and want
3. Analyze if expectations are too low, too high, realistic, or just right
4. Get what you expect

Dear Sigmund Psychie,

I have been working with my company for a long time and am due for a raise. My co-workers seem to be moving up ahead of me. I work as hard as anyone else in the office if not harder. How do I approach my boss for a raise?

- Left Behind in Albuquerque

Dear Left Behind,

I am your boss.  Convince me that I should give you a raise.  In order to convince someone of your value, you need to gather, prepare, and manage information about people with like types of skills and jobs.  You also need to understand as much as you can about your boss. 

Let's talk about information - What do you know?  Is your work valued?  Does your boss like you? Have you had any evaluations from your boss?  What do they say?  What are other people paid (in your company, outside of your company) who do the same type of work you do?  Do you have a salary target?  Are there other things besides money might you be open to getting - better parking, better insurance, etc?  What options do you have? And, what options does your boss have?  Before negotiating for a raise, you need to know as much as you can. Knowledge is power.  

http://www.ovson.com

1. What do you want?
2. What is your value?
3. What do your peers get?
4. What are your alternatives?
5. What are your boss' alternative?

Look at where you want to go.

Look at where you've come from.

Recognize that you have a long way to go.

And recognize how far you've come.