| This issue
is the third in the series the ABCs
of Making Change. In
February we
talked about awareness and in March we
talked about behavior. If you want to make positive changes
in your life you must be aware of how you behave, think,
and feel.
You've heard this before - the only thing constant in
life is change. So, your life is going to change, why not
do something positive about it? Learn how to "let go and
fall up." This process helps make change easier. While
some changes are totally out of control there are things
that we can change even when we think there are no other
options.
Positive change begins with self-observation (awareness),
not self-judgment. There's a huge difference! Self-observation
makes no criticism. Judgments are critical internal voices
that nag at us, "How could you have done that?" "You're
not good enough." Brain scientists tell us the average
person talks to themselves 10,000 times a day. Try observing
what you say to yourself (behavior).
Self-observation is like viewing ourselves as if we were
a video camera. As a camera (an inanimate object),
we would be open, alert, and passive. Yep, passive. Not
active, not interfering with what we see but just observing
it.
In this Issue
Third in a three part series, the ABCs of Making Change
- Count Your Blessings, Not Your Faults
- Eight Habits of Successful Change
- Developing Alternatives in Times of Uncontrollable Change
- Simple Observations
- Do Today
Next Issue
May 2006 - Humor is Serious Business
Last Issue
March 2006 - Behavior | 
I'm Dr. Sigmund
Psychie C.E. (Communications Expert). It means that
while I practice the art of psychology, I am not
a psychologist. I have a wealth of experience in
helping people develop powerful communications skillsto
work through complex challenges at
work and home.
Ask me anything related to communications
at work, negotiations, management, and more.
Pass this information
to your colleagues and associates. I can help them too!
Email me your question today!
sigmund@ovson.com 
- Get what you want
- Ask for a raise
- Position yourself in a negotiation
- Work with a difficult person
- Manage multiple groups
- Hire the right employees
|
Dear Dr. Psychie,
For years I’ve wanted to focus myself and set goals
but always felt overwhelmed and didn’t have a step-by-step
process. So, this January, I followed your Goal
Setting Guidebook and started to
set goals. I had the best start ever but am now getting bogged
down in my typical way. I am thinking I can’t do this
and it brings back my old critical voice. Got an idea of
how I can get back on track or is this just the pattern that
I have to live with?
C in Penn
Dear C in Penn,
Time to pat yourself on the back and not make negative judgments.
There are a lot of positive changes going on. Give yourself
a break and think of what you have done instead of what you
have not done.
It sounds to me like you are doing a lot of things listed
in the 8 Habits of Successful Change list that are pushing
you further than you have gone before. Because there are
so many things involved in developing a set of goals and
achieving them, I suggest you find a ‘coach’ who
could help you define, without judgments, things you can
do to break through some more barriers and quiet that old
critical voice. Keep up your commitment; this is the process
of making positive change! |
People who are successful at change:
- Are aware of their strengths, fears and challenges
- Set goals and define what they want
- Recognize that positive change requires developing alternatives
and making choices
- Make commitments and hold responsibility for their actions
- Take action and challenge themselves to move beyond their
fears
- Learn from every conflict or frustrating experience
- Celebrate little changes because of their huge impact
- Are aware that this process never ends
|
Dear Dr. Psychie,
I have worked for the same company
for 14 years and it is falling apart in front of my face.
VCs purchased the company three years ago and since then
there have been three cutbacks. We’re operating with
very few people. I hate working here but am paralyzed about
what I am going to do next. When you worked here as a consultant
before the company was taken over, you had so many good
ideas. Do you have any more?
Hanging on in Northern CA
Dear Hanging on,
Don’t get angry – get even, with yourself. The
company is going down the tubes. This is a change that you
can’t control. What are the changes that you can control?
Have you figured out your skills and strengths? Have you
started looking for another job?
It’s time to make self-observations (not self-judgments).
Make a list of your past and present accomplishments. Don’t
filter it and don’t judge it – just make a long
list. The way to make this change positive is to be aware
of what skills you have and what you want to do with them.
Your skills, experience, and personality are all part of
your assets. Your task now is to be honest with yourself
so that you can see how you want to invest your assets.
If you want to make the most out of this situation, be proactive – change
can be a very positive thing.
http://www.ovson.com |
My Objective - To become more aware of the present status
of my life
Take 15-20 minutes each day and address the following
questions:
- In what ways is my life balanced (or not) today?
- How did I take care of myself today?
- How did I take care of my spouse today?
- What is my attention on today?
- What are my current breakdowns?
- What action will
I take to resolve them?
Keep comfy shoes at work so that when you take an afternoon
break (which you DO have time for) you can go for a nice
walk and get some fresh air. |
